Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Another bachelor bites the dust

For those of you who are fed up with news about the disengagement and are looking for some glamour and romance, here’s your chance.
New York businessman Ari Goldman (34) stars in the reality show “of all the girls in the world”.
It’s a variation on the bachelor/bachelorette theme.
Goldman, who lives in Manhattan, where he runs a "highly successful" vintage comics enterprise, meets 17 Jewish Cinderellas aged 21-34 in Israel. None of the girls (save one) has ever been married.
(I am not sure if Goldman is desperate, or just wants to improve his business.
If the latter is the case, I applaud him – free worldwide marketing & PR is something normally only A-list actors enjoy).
There is one exception: a divorcee with two children. (My bet, she will be eliminated in one of the first episodes).
The young women come from diverse backgrounds, and were born in Estonia, Bulgaria, Canada, the US, Ethiopia and Israel. All (but one) have at least a BA. (No idea why that is relevant, but who am I?). The exception is an officer in the Israeli army. (She will be eliminated after the divorcee, mark my words).
According to the producer, they are “the type of girl that any Jewish mother would want for her son”. (Sure, every mother- in- law just loves her son marrying a woman who made a fool of herself on international TV for a worldwide audience).
Goldman doesn't speak Hebrew, so a large part of the program will be in English. That doesn't necessarily mean that the 17 young ladies speak English well.
(This could be a blessing in disguise - it's better that you don't understand questions like "how much do you make" and "are you willing to transfer all your wordly possession to me".
Also note that Britney did marry a guy who speaks English fluently, and see how long that marriage lasted!).
“We didn't pick them for their fluency in English; love is an international language”, commented the producer, adding that language and culture obstacles will add spice to the show.
(I wonder if the producer is a) married himself and if so b) what language his wife speaks).
Religion-wise: Goldman travels on Shabbat, but has his Friday night dinner with his family. He eats only kosher, dons a kippa when he sits down to eat and studies with a rabbi every two weeks. (We can safely assume that his bride-to-be will be whisked away to NYC; which is for sure a huge incentive for the girls to participate in this show).
Some of the young women he meets are fully Sabbath observant, some just eat kosher but don't observe the Sabbath, and others are barely observant at all. (Normally, this is already a breaking point in any Jewish date, so good luck to all of them).
No show without a twist, so here it comes: there is an 18th contestant watching all the episodes except the last from the comfort of her living room. She can enter the race if she considers herself superior. (Of course she will – but isn’t that unfair towards our poor bachelor, who never even saw the wench?)
Towards the end, Goldman will take the four women who appeal to him most back to New York, where family and friends will help him narrow the choice to one.
The end rewards? A $ 200,000 engagement ring, a car, and a rent-free apartment for one year. The catch? He has to settle in Israel (Talking about pressure!).
I am not the only one being cynical about this all - Goldman's own mother doesn't think the show will bring her a daughter-in-law.
What I still don’t get: New York is full of intelligent, gorgeous single women, so what is Goldman’s problem? Especially NYC is the ultimate ethnic melting pot, so why shop abroad when you can do it right on your doorstep?
It’s not like Goldman is a dog – the producer describes him a “a rugged, charismatic character with instant click” (I assume that it translates as : he is good looking and charming).
Furthermore, he wants someone who will be happy to share his lifestyle, not a homebody who slaves away in the kitchen. (His words, not mine).
Will it work? Yes and now. The chances that he will find a bride that he can whisk away to Manhattan are as high as winning the lottery. Will we be entertained? For sure - there will be enough embarrassing moments edited in to entertain us all. Let’s face it, love makes fool of us all, and it’s so much more fun when it happens to someone you don’t know personally, but just dislike, and see her making a fool of herself in front of millions of people.....

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