Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Another one bites the dust

Renee Zellweger filed for divorce after four months of wedding bliss.
That in itself is not so strange – many a showbiz wedding lasted not even that long. (Remember marriage # 1 Ms. Spears?)
What’s is puzzling is the ground for divorce – Zellweger accuses ex-hubby-to-be of fraud.
Now what the hack is she referring to? Did he promise her eternal love? Undying devotion? That he would never ever make fun of her? Worship at her feed?
I assume it cannot be something substantial such as having children – you would expect a couple in its 30s to discuss that kind of life altering stuff before tying the knot.
May be our Renee got swept away by all the romance – playing Bridget Jones could have that effect on a lass.
Let’s face it – there are no knights in shining armor, and if there are, stay away from them.
You see, if their armor is still shining, they never did any serious dragon slaying.
Furthermore, paying so much attention to one’s suit of armor is an indication that the knight might fancy his own kind – it would explain why all those Knights of the Round Table kept rushing off together to find the Holy Grail and all that.
Only Tristan had a hot love affair with a woman – OK, it was a fatal one, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. As we all know, that Lancelot pansy never took advantage of a golden opportunity, which must have ticked off King Arthur's beautiful Queen to no end.

Our Renee should get a grip on reality and go for someone compatible.
I strongly suggest that she starts investigating high-tech moguls.
You see, dating a nerd is the ultimate clever thing to do. If you as a girl date and marry the captain of the football team, you will end up with a middle aged guy who is still living his former days of glory, has a dead-end job, suffers from back or other injuries that limit improvisations in the bedroom. If, however, you can get your hands on the class nerd, you will end up with a professor or captain of industry who has all the money in the world to spend on you and who (due to being a bookworm) knows a thing or two about showing a girl a good time.
Nerds also have the tendency to age really well: just look at Steven Spielberg who is getting more attractive per year.
The same logic applies to guys by the way – if they are foolish enough to marry the high school pinup, they have to feed her obsession with her fading looks by forking out their hard-earned cash for her face lifts, tummy tugs, hair extensions, fingernails, cosmetics and designer clothes. If they would have angled themselves the class nerd girl, they would have had an independent career woman as their spouse, who pays her own bills with her 6-figure+ income from corporate law, high-tech, medicine or research. On top if it, she is smart enough to mould herself into the lover hubby wants – both looks and behavior wise…
You get the point now, don't you?

But may be Zellweger did just that and it’s all a very clever publicity stunt from our favorite nerdy actress. Who knows?
Time, ex-hubby, friends, the tabloids and her next love interest for sure will tell….

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