What If Ancient Rome Had Internet? This Is How Social Media Could Have Looked....Feel Free to Add Your Own!

Sometimes I wonder ancient Romans would have used social networks. Feel free to add your own 2 asses!

Amazon.com

Buy the latest Roman Gazette Bestseller list scroll “De Bello Gallico” by Gaius Julius Caesar now! 15% discount if you order before the Ides of March. 

Best customer review: “An amazing read” Octavius

Worse customer review: “Hate it, hate it, hate it”! Widow of Vercingetorix 

eBay

Sword used to kill Gaius Julius Caesar. Features original blood stains. Only used once for murder. Condition: fair. Current bid: 100 dinarii excluding shipping.

Facebook

Like pages:

“How to poison without leaving a trace” – Empress Livia (1,000,360 likes from the female Roman population and all slaves)

“Kinky stuff” – Caligula (likes from Emperor Tiberius)

“How to commit patricide” – Brutus (likes from all Roman nobles)

Texting

"Noticed that my husband is sexing another hussy" (Caesar’s wife to BFF)

"I am here, let’s kill the SOB" (Brutus to fellow conspirators))

"Why does oracle4u keeps texting me “Beware of the Ides of March” (bewildered I am NOT bold Caesar to his mistress). 

YouTube

Most popular:

- How to cross the Alps with elephants (posted by Hannibal) 10 minutes

- Cleopatra taking a bath (posted by MarcAntony) 3 X-rated minutes

- Speeches by Cicero (too many minutes of "Furthermore, consider that Carthage must be destroyed")  

Netflix and Hulu

The black widow (documentary about Empress Livia 1 hr and 10 min.)

My Space

Emperor Nero featuring playing the violin against a stunning Roman background

Google+

- Friends circle Roman oppressors

- Friends circle Roman wives scorned

- Friends circle slaves revolt

Pinterest

Featured boards:

- Enemies I conquered (by Caesar4u)

- Enemies of Caesar (by Pompey)

- Toga fashion (by Valentinus of Roma)

- Lares (by Matrona)

- Favorite Scrolls (by Virgil)

- Volcanoes (Pliny the Younger)

Twitter

Kicked the s*** out of those #barbarians! #RomaVincit (Posted by #Caesar4u)

Lost another bloody #elephant. Stupid #Alps! (Posted by #Hannibal)

Hate my Daddy#Caesar4u sucks! (Posted by Julia, Caesar’s daughter)

Google translation (utilizing Babylon.com software) of an e-mail in Gallic to Latin:

“You Jules Bold murder wives and children. The Parisii and Gauls cannot take this. Wine and Women superior to Matrons Roman are. So exhaust fluid from this. Fornicate you!”